Naruto Sensei and Team 13
by leviruzene
Summary: Eight years have passed since the last Great Ninja War. Now a grown man, Naruto must face one last challenge before becoming Hokage: Turn three bratty teens into real Shinobi!
1. Prologue

**Prologue **

It was very cold that night, eight years ago. And wet too, since it heavily raining, as if the sky itself was crying for the many lives wasted on the Great Fourth Ninja War. Despite its name and despite the fact that it was, indeed, a war fought by ninja, the war was quite different from anything else that had been seen in the ninja world. That conflict wasn´t about rivaling clans or nations. No, it was a war against terror, against a terrorist organization and a mad scientist, the war against the people of the red cloud, Akatsuki.

Chaos was everywhere. Fighting zombies of your deceased loved ones was no easy task and for each allied ninja felled there was the possibility of finding a brand new undying enemy coming back. When I finally discovered what was going on, the war was halfway on and we were losing badly. But do you wanna know the worst part about it? It was to discover that I was being kept away from it, from trying to protect my precious people… and to find out that that Teme was undoubtedly trying to destroy Konoha. And the rest of the world as a bonus.

Of course, After finding out about what was going on and knowing that I wouldn´t just cross my arms and stay still, Baa-chan gave me a mission: try to locate Sasuke´s hideout. We had a lead to some possible places thanks to some of the most unwilling undead fought during the war. it must really suck to be a zombie… . So I was sent to investigate it with Sakura-chan and some guys from other villages.

The place was hard to find. It was located deep underground, at the border between the Land of Fire and the Land of Wind, in a barren deserted area. It took us some time to find an entrance and we only managed to get in thanks to some rock ninja that was with us.

I would say the place was heavily guarded, with plenty of those curse marked monsters that snake bastard liked so much, but since Sakura and I are so awesome we just painted the walls a new shade of red and kept going.

The hideout was pretty much the typical Orochimaru maze: stone corridors that looked all the same, with some strange line pattern painted on the reddish brown walls; low light given by lit torches and candles; heavy iron doors; and the stench of fear, blood and death.

I was disappointed to discover that the last living Uchiha wasn´t there. What I found there was something entirely different though and I still thank the Will of Fire for directing me that way. What we thought was a hideout wasn´t really used for that.

That place was one sick, twisted, mad scientist laboratory.

You wouldn´t believe the things I've seen there. Each new rasenganed door was a portal to a distinctive horror show. Whole and parts of people locked in green liquid filled tubes, some weird devices that I can only imagine to be used for torture and other stuff I'm still trying to forget.

Half of our forces left their breakfast at that cursed place. The other half left unshed tears.

But the worst we found later, when we got the holding cells.

It seemed that that part of the hideout had been forgotten by their keepers, along with their "inhabitants". The prisoners that were still alive were barely so. They showed clear signs of malnourishment and starvation, besides injury, sickness and mental trauma… Sakura could give a better explanation about what we found there.

Well, usually that´s to be expected from Orochimaru´s lair. I know it sounds cruel but it is true.

But what really pissed me of…

There were children in those cells. Lots of them. Very young children, from what I believed to be from 3 to 5 years old. Most were already dead, other were completely disfigured, some turned into monsters, others turned into a puddle of meat… I started crying at that point.

We counted more than a hundred kids in there, but not even a quarter had survived.

I will never, ever forget their faces…


	2. Chapter 1  The Teacher and the Students

**Chapter 1 – The Teacher and the Students.**

It was fairly nice that morning. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and a humming noise could be heard inside the Hokage's office. Despite being morning, the lack of booze in her veins, and the huge pile of paperwork, Tsunade was in a very cheerful mood.

And she had every reason to be so. After the war ended, 8 years ago, Konoha, as well as all other ninja villages, had been blooming. Business was at its peak, there was no sign of major conflict between nations and she only had a few years now before she could finally retire.

Also, she couldn't be more proud. Sakura, her disciple, had grown into a powerful, beautiful and reliable woman and Naruto, her protégée, had become a world known celebrity. Naruto's ability to make friends and open people's hearts became legendary and his network of friends was quite impressive.

Naruto was always on Tsunade's mind lately. She was getting tired of the office and wanted Naruto to assume the mantle for a few years now, but she kept from doing so. She knew Naruto is the right man for the job, but he's still too much inexperienced and impulsive, so to remedy that she made him go through all kinds of different situations, like being a diplomat, teaching at the academy, working at the Hokage's office and then becoming an Anbu.

There was only one thing she believed Naruto still needed to do before assuming Konoha's leadership. And she was about to fix that problem.

"Shizune"? Tsunade called.

"Yes, Tsunade-sama"? Answered the brunette while stamping some papers.

"Call for Toad, I need to talk to him"". Tsunade ordered in a low voice.

"Right away". Shizune replied, standing up to leave the room to do her task.

About 15 minutes later a swirl of leaves appeared in the middle of the room, with a kneeling man at its center.

Even though he was kneeling, anyone could see he was a big man, with powerful arms and broad shoulders. He was wearing the typical Anbu suit: grey and black clothing and armor, an Anbu short sword strapped on his back, chest plate, arm and leg guards and a toad mask on his face. He was also carrying a huge scroll, strapped on his lower back.

"You called Hokage-sama?" asked the Anbu in a monotone voice.

"Yes, I did. Lose the mask though, this is non-Anbu business." replied the blond lady.

Complying with her orders, the operative did as he was told, standing up and removing his mask to show a grinning young man, with bright blue eyes and whisker marks on his face.

"What's up Baa-chan? Hi Shizune-nee!" the cheerful man asked, while dodging a flying sake bottle.

"Brat! Don't call me that!" shouted Tsunade, trying to keep a serious face. Everybody knew she loved how Naruto considered her to be family.

"Hello Naruto-kun!" Shizune greeted.

"Geez, it just took you to take the mask off and you start being disrespectful! Tch!" the older woman said while pouting.

Expecting this reaction, Naruto answered "But Baa-chan, I only call you that way because you're my family and I love you!"

Tsunade blushed a little at hearing that. Naruto really learned how to push her buttons. It always made her feel good and wanted, as if she had a place to belong to. He was so much like her lost brother.

"How was the honeymoon?" She asked, now smiling.

Naruto had just got married, about a month ago. It was one of the biggest celebrations to happen not only at Konoha, but the whole ninja world. Naruto and his now-wife tried to make something smaller and more personal, but the guest list was so long that the Hokage decided to make it a sort of diplomatic event. Kages, Damyos and Shoguns from all over the world were called and the celebration lasted for 3 days.

After that Tsunade gave the newlyweds a month to spend their honeymoon and Naruto returned to duty just a few hours ago.

"Oh, it was awesome, dattebayo! I took lots of pictures too; I'll bring it to you guys later!" Said the man, excited.

"You'd better keep that promise brat! Anyways, there's something I'd like to talk to you about." Said the blond lady.

"As you've known for at least the last few years, I'm about to pass you the hat. I've been grooming you for this for quite some time". Explained Tsunade while Naruto nodded to each statement, the same way Guy-sensei used to do sometime. Much like the idiot he was.

"Now there's one thing left for you to do..." Naruto nodded again, faster, his eyes squinting with anticipation. Was she finally appointing him the new Hokage, he thought.

"… Is to become a Jonin sensei." Finished Tsunade.

"Huh?" Was his intelligent reply.

"You heard me, brat. This is something every Jonin and any other important Shinobi has to go through, specially someone who wishes to become Hokage".

"But Baa-chan! That could take forever…" He whined miserably.

"No buts!" She said, while slamming her desk, not leaving room for arguments. "This is an important step Naruto. You have to pass your legacy. It is required, it's a tradition and this is how we pass knowledge to future generations."

"I know that dattebayo! But I don't think I'm qualified for that!"

"Qualified? That's bull and you know it!" She answered, now with a hint of anger in her voice. "Besides, you've been leading Chuuning and Anbu squads for at least five years now!" Said the woman, proving her point.

"I know, but it's different!"

"And how is that different?"She said while crossing her arms and raising an eyebrow.

"Chuuning and anbu are not Children. They are more experienced and prepared." Now Naruto answered seriously.

"Stop spouting nonsense you brat! How about the time you taught at the Academy? And you like children!"

"I never said I didn't like children. But the academy is hardly a dangerous place and they don't have to go through life and death situations."

Tsunade sighed. She really didn't expected him to be against it. She thought it would be a much welcomed idea, since leading a genin team usually meant easy (if not boring), low-threatening missions, especially now that he got married.

Most unpredictable ninja indeed.

But still, this was important. And she couldn't keep spoiling him forever.

"Stop pouting Brat! This is unbecoming of you! You're a grown man now! Suck it up and act your age!" The Hokage lectured.

"But Baa-chan…" Naruto tried to complain.

"NO! BUTS!" Shouted the woman. "I expect you here tomorrow morning at 10 am for the Jouning's debriefing. You are a dedicated person Naruto, I know you can do it. I don't see how you couldn't become a good Jounin sensei. Don't be late. Now scram!"

Tsunade was finished with Naruto and even him, being as dense as a wall, realized that. So, with nothing else to say, he bowed to both women and "scramed", as requested, through the window to do his other duties.

Later that day Naruto decided to do his usual "reflecting-about-my-problems-at-the-top-of-my-dad's-head" thing.

Doing that never really solved his problems. He couldn't, for the love of Kami, do the reflecting thing. Thinking deeply about stuff was not his forte, he was an action type of guy. Nonetheless the sight was beautifull, it calmed his nerves and brought him peace of mind.

Dusk came and Naruto decided to return home.

Naruto's home was a simple two-stored house with a small backyard. It had two bedrooms, a living room, one restroom, one bathroom, a kitchen integrated to the dining room and a laundry room. It was a cozy place that Naruto had managed to buy with his savings, with no need to take any loan at all. He was a bit proud of this, being the first one among his friends to completely own his own place.

One of the things Naruto liked the best about his house was the location. It was ten-minute civilian walk away from the Hokage monuments, his favorite spot of all Konoha. The neighbors were mostly nice people and, due to its location (away from downtown), very quiet and peaceful.

Upon arriving, he decided to enter through the bedroom window, carefully taking off his sandals (the last time he entered home through the window, he forgot to take them off… and paid hell for it). His wife was probably home by now and, if his guess was correct, taking a shower.

Deciding to prove his theory, he headed straight to the bathroom. If the sound of running water and the vapor escaping was any indication, right he was.

"Hey babe, I'm home!" Vocalized the man while leaning on the open door.

"Hey handsome!" Answered back his wife in a muffled voice, given she was separated from him by a green toned glass shower box. "How was your day?"

"Meh, It was ok." He answered in a subdued tone. Noticing this, his wife tried to make him elaborate.

"You don't sound ok. Did you get another assassination assignment?" Most of Naruto's bad moods these days usually happened because of his Anbu duties. Despite being paid and despite being (sometimes) necessary, he never enjoyed doing it. At least Konoha would only take commissions on criminals, since the end of Root. Even though his woman never made into Anbu, she worked in the office long enough to know what the masked people did for missions.

"Not really… actually, it's the opposite. Baa-chan asked me to leave the corps and become a Jonin sensei." He said with a sigh.

The woman wasn't excepting that. "Really? And how come you're not happy?" She asked. "I always figured you to be the sensei type. You always had fun teaching at the academy. The kids practically worshiped you."

"Heh, Tsunade said the same things. And you're both right about that."

"But…?" she said, sensing he had more to say.

"But I'm not sure. I'm afraid that I might fail them. Genin are not supposed to get dangerous missions, but they can and it most probably will happen. It happened to me." He paused a little to look at his hands. He remembered his first real mission, at the Land of Wave. Kakashi sensei must had freaked out, Naruto thought. "What if they die? Or worst, what if they end up like Sasuke?"

The anguish was clear in his voice. He still blamed himself all this years for Sasuke's defection. Something about not being a good enough friend.

She knew crap when she smelled it. And Naruto was certainly spilling crap out of his mouth. None of that was his fault. He couldn't blame himself for other people's choices. Usually Naruto is a very cheerful person, but like everyone else, he had his emo moments (which, thankfully, were rare). It was up to her to put a stop to it before her husband could turn into Yaoi angst mode. Yuk!

"Naruto, for the last time, it was not your fault. Stop thinking like that or I'm gonna punch you through the walls, and I really don't wanna do that to our home!" She said, cutting his angsting.

"Think about it. If you don't become a sensei, someone else will. And what if this person is not such a kick ass ninja like you, or simply don't care enough? You're the best option around in this town! Besides, if any of your kids start going Sasuke on you, you can be the one to go 'One Thousand Years of Pain" up their asses, so they can learn not to be emos. And think about all the things you can teach them, and prepare them for the hazards of life?"

That made him think. Damn woman, she´s always right!

Naruto felt a little better now. Being married was awesome. Being married to this girl was even better. She always knew what to say when he was feeling down.

"I'll give it a try then."

"Good." Misses Uzumaki said. "But since we're talking about you becoming a sensei, I suddenly forgot how to wash my back…" She said in a sultry voice. "…I wonder if Naruto sensei could teach me how to do it."

"Well my lovely student… your lessons are going to start right away." He said, grinning like the pervert he was, while taking off his clothes and walking towards the shower.

Later that night in bed Naruto Finally found himself Exited.

"Heh, this might be fun, dattebayo!" He thought. It has been a while since he pulled some nice, juicy pranks. Now he was looking forward meeting the kids.

He closed his eyes and dreamt of tests, training exercises and trips to Ichiraku.

A couple days later...

Morning finally came! Yuki could barely contain her excitement. Throwing her blanket off her bed, she stood up with a jump."Yatta! I'm finally gonna become a real ninja!" Almost screamed the girl. Bouncing with energy, she hoped to the wardrobe, much like a bunny, to dress up on what she considered to be ninja attire.

The fact the she was hoping like a small, defenseless creature, didn't do justice to the fact that she was one big girl.

Despite being an Akimichi, she was not overweight big. She was tall big. And very tall at that, measuring impressive 5'9 feet for a 12 year old girl. She was taller than both her parents and almost all other clan members.

As a toddler she was plump, and used to be picked on a lot. That stopped when she got a continuous growth spur at the age of 10. The bullying stopped when that happened for two reasons. One was that she became quite intimidating to mess up with, being almost two heads taller than everyone. The other reason was, as the boys from her class would say, she became very attractive.

By attractive they meant smocking hot.

Toned legs, firm ass, big breasts and a pretty face completed the package. Most people wouldn't believe she was only 12. And she was still growing.

Dressing up in a very short miniskirt, over mesh stockings, long boot style ninja sandals, a mesh shirt underneath a gym tank top and a jacket leaving nothing to the imagination. Most normal parents would be horrified to see their daughter dressed up like that, but most parents weren't ninja. Since her parents were, they were too aware about the seduction and distraction part of the job, so they tolerate it.

As she finished dressing up, she hopped downstairs to meet her parents and have breakfast.

Kojiro stretched lazily like a cat as he woke up. It was pretty early in the morning, but he preferred to wake up earlier so he could prepare himself with no hurry. He was going to become a Genin today, so he was going to savor every minute of it. As he stood up, he did some basic stretching for flexibility, grabbed a towel and walked to the shower.

It was great not living in the orphanage. He had the shower all to himself and he could take as long as he wanted, provided he could pay the water bill.

The Village had a very solid social program involving orphans. The children, be they abandoned by the parents, or lost them to war or disease, were sent to a well maintained orphanage and the ninja academy, to learn to take care of themselves. Upon turning 10 years old, and if not adopted until then, the orphans start receiving governmental aid to rent a place to live and to get on with their lives until they reach Chuunin rank.

As such, while in the shower, the boy was thinking about the extra money he could get by doing Genin missions. The extra money was welcomed, since the amount he got barely covered the living expenses.

So, while daydreaming about paychecks and beef jerky, he got ready and left towards the academy.

"Daisukeeee, wake up baby brother!" Gently said a feminine voice. The owner of the voice, a very beautiful platinum blond bimbo was shaking her proclaimed little brother on the shoulder.

"Hmmm... Ino nee-chan? I don't wanna..." The little boy muttered.

"Sorry Dai-chan, no can do, now get up or you'll be late to the Genin appointment." Explained the woman, while playing with his messy hair.

"Alright Ino-nee, I'm getting up, stop playing with my hair!" Pouted the boy. Now that he was already a teen, he didn't want to be treated like a baby.

Ino stood up from the bed, to give her brother room to stand and change clothes. When he was about to change his clothes, he looked at her eyes, as if trying to convey a message.

"You sure you don't me to take you there?" She asked innocently.

"Nee-chan! I'm changing, where's my privacy? And no, people are gonna make fun of me if you do!" Still pouting the boy argued.

Ino grinned. Her brother was so cute and cuddly, especially when pouting! But she couldn't resist taunting him.

"Are you sure Dai-chan? Your friends don't seem to bother..."

"No, nee-chan! I love you sis, but it's really embarrassing!"

Ino and Daisuke had very similar looks. Both had platinum blond hair, teal eyes and good looks. If the age gap weren't so big they could even pass as twins. And they weren't even blood related; Daisuke was adopted into the Yamanaka's when he was a little kid.

Now, he's not a kid anymore, but he's still little. In contrast to his classmate Yuki, who was the tallest person in class, he was the shortest one, even shorter than girls his age. But instead of mulling over the fact, he used it as a weapon. His size, coupled with the good looks and baby face made him incredibly... cute. And harmless looking. All he had to do was pout, look intensely with those pretty, big eyes and ask politely.

Nothing in the world could resist his so called "awesome mind control technique", except his parents and sister, 'cause it would only work half the time on them. His sister called it the "sad puppy look" though, much to his chagrin.

So, after being told numerous times by his mother not to forget his lunch box, he left the house, his destination: the ninja academy.

At the academy everyone was excited. Even the usually stoic Hyuugas and Aburames were chatting, wondering who would be in their teams. As it happened every year, it took Iruka sensei at least 5 good minutes and a "screaming-big-head-no-jutsu" to get the class quiet down. As Iruka gave his speech about Genin, the cruel world, duty and the Will of Fire, the students were showing different degrees of not paying attention.

Realizing that, Iruka finished his speech and started calling the teams.

"I wonder who's gonna be on my team" thought Kojiro. He was hoping to be paired with someone strong. He wanted to be a respected Shinobi and it wouldn't do to be paired up with some air head, a weakling or something way worse... a fan girl.

He hated fan girls with a passion. They were stupid, they were dumb and the only ninja skills they possessed were stalking.

"... Nobunaga Jiro, Kwabara Hiroshi, Shiori Keiko, you're team 2!"

He really wanted to do a serious job. He needed to make Chuunin ASAP. Living expanses wasn't getting any cheaper and he was growing tired of living on instant ramem.

"... Inuzuka Shin, Matsumoto Juro, Katsuya Asuka, team 3!"

As soon as he heard the Inuzuka, he felt relieved. Kojiro was a cat person and most his ninja techniques were based on transforming into feline creatures. Even his appearance was like a cat; his long wild dark hair looked like a lion's mane; his skin was a yellowish brown tone, covered by a thin layer of fur; his eyes were long and sharp in shape, much like a predator.

Inuzuka and he hated each other's guts and to team up with that mutt would be awful. Much like cats and dogs, they would quarrel and call each other names. Kojiro was "Stray Cat", while Shin was "Useless Mutt". Sometimes it escalated into fist fights but Iruka was always there to separate them.

"... Yamada Juubei, Urashima Miki, Urashima Maki, team 7!"

"How strange, Sis never mentioned a team with two girls." Thought Daisuke, his teal eyes following the Urashima twins. Genin teams usually had two boys and a girl for balance, but that wasn't a rule.

By that point the class was getting more and more empty, as the Genin called stood up and left to meet their new sensei. Yuki grew restless as she had to wait. She hated suspense. One by one the teams were called, until only three Genin, Yuki, Daisuke and Kojiro, were left.

"Alright guys." Iruka said. "I guess that makes you team 13. Congratulations by the way." Iruka smiled. The kids muttered a "thanks" while Iruka passed them some documents. "Your sensei will meet you at room D-13, at the top floor. Work hard and good luck" The man finished.

Yuki was all smiles. She was finally becoming a real ninja! And she got paired with Daisuke and Kojiro, the first she had been friends since they were babies, given how close their families were (and besides, he's so cute!); and the second had this wild look about him, he seemed very reliable and cool.

Daisuke wasn't so excited. Sure, Yuki was alright and she was a sucker for his awesome mind control powers but that Kojiro guy didn't seem to care. Actually when Daisuke tried to make small talk, he was shortly cut off by a snarl and a scowl. "What's that guy's problem?" He thought.

Kojiro was pissed off. How dare they put him on such a looser team! The Yamanaka was a midget and the Akimichi was a looser! He couldn't believe his (bad) luck! The teen was already imagining their first mission: Yuki, as furtive as an elephant in a china shop, halting any attempt at stealth and Daisuke being used as a whiny target practice by enemy ninja. He was so screwed...

A few minutes and a flight of stairs later Team 13 found themselves at the entrance of class D-13. Daisuke knocked lightly at the door, Yuki at his side and Kojiro at his back. Receiving no answer and guessing their sensei hadn't arrived yet, he turned the handle and entered the room, followed by his comrades.

The room was completely dark, which was weird, cause it was morning and there were large windows in every classroom. Seconds before any of them could turn the lights on; they heard a loud crash sound followed by the light of day and glass shards that miraculously didn't hit them.

"I am known as the One Man Army Ninja..." A mysterious voice came from the front of the room.

"... The Sage of Myouboku..." The three teen's eyes followed the voice, the owner of the voice being a bulky, tall man, dressed in typical Jonin clothes, with bright blue eyes and golden hair that looked just like the Yondaime.

"... The Savior of Konoha..." As the man said each phrase, he opened his arms wide, palms open facing out and balanced him on one foot, like he was some kabuki character.

"... and future Hokage..." By now Kojiro was face palming, Daisuke was looking uncertainly and Yuki's eyes where shining.

Out of nowhere four clones of the man appeared, to two his right and two his left, their backs to the students.

"U...!" The first clone shouted and disappeared in a cloud of pink smoke, said smoke forming the kanji character.

"...ZU..." Cried the second clone, repeating the first's action.

"...MA..." At this point both Kojiro and Daisuke started doubting the man's sanity. Daisuke couldn't believe this was the man his Nee-chan had so much respect for.

"...KI!" The last clone shouted, disappearing into smoky letters.

"NARUTO!" Screamed the real man at last. As the words were leaving his mouth, orange smoke bombs exploded and paper confetti were thrown all around.

As the smoke settled down, the three teen could see Naruto standing at the middle of the class, hands on his waist, in all his "glory", while two giant toads where throwing the confetti at him.

"So lame!" Daisuke and Kojiro yelled, while pointing at the supposedly grown up man in front of them. Apparently Yuki was the only one who thought her sensei's introduction to be cool. "He's so hot..." Thought the girl with a dreamy glint in her eyes.

As Naruto posed, he took a good look at his students. This was really going to be funny, Naruto thought.

"And my first impression of you is… You guys suck." Deadpanned the Jonin.

"Hey!", "What?" "Huh?" Each Genin blurted, in order from the shortest member to the tallest. The kids certainly seemed peeved. Even Yuki.

"…Buuuut that´s alright, at the beginning all Genin suck, so no worries there." Their sensei said even before they could start complaining. "Alright now, gather around guys." He said, while motioning for them to come closer. "I want to know a little bit about you guys, your names, dreams. likes and dislikes. I´ll start."

"My name is Uzumaki Naruto, I like my family, the color orange and Ramen, I don't like people who only solve things by violence and my dream is to become Hokage. You next." He said pointing to Kojiro.

Daisuke noded and responded "I'm Kojiro, I like playing with animals, except dogs and beef jerky. I don't like dogs, specially useless mutts. And I guess my dream would be to have money enough to eat something else besides instant ramen for breakfast everyday and to buy my own house." Naruto raised an eyebrow at the mention of ramen, but said nothing. Some people just didn't understand the awesomeness of ramen. He probably never had ramen at Ichiraku. If everything went right, Naruto would soon rectify that.

The man pointed the other boy now ."You're next blondie."

"Yamanaka Daisuke, you know my sister right?" The boy asked, and Naruto replyed with a light nod. "She and Sakura nee-chan talk about you a lot." Naruto smiled at that. It was good to have people that cared around. "I like my sister and my parents and I don't like people that make fun of my hight. My dream is to become a legendary ninja, like you sensei!" So the kid was a hero worshipper, thought Naruto. It felt good to be the one worshipped, but that wouldn't do. "Fan girlism" and "hero worshipping"had no place on the battlefield and it could get young people killed. He had to say though, the kid was cute.

"You're up now." Naruto pointed the giant of a girl.

Finnaly being called, she excitedly raised her left hand "My name is Akimichi Yuki! I like eating chocolate and everything els, but specially chocolate! And my dream..." She said, now staring intensly at her teacher. "... Is to make a certain man mine."The girl finished, winking at him.

Naruto gulped. "What the hell was that look?" He though.

"All right guys." Said their sensei, recomposing himself. "Before we go out and start training, you have to pass a test first to become full-fledged Genin."

As the kids started complaining, Kojiro said. "What do you mean test? We already passed the academy tests!" The others noding their heads in accordance.

"I don't give a damn about the academy tests. You want to be trained by me, you have to pass my test or you can wait for the next 6 months to picked up by another Jonin sensei. Besides, I don't have time for whiny brats. So, are you up to it or are you gonna chiken out?"

The Genin looked at each other, the doubt in their eyes turning into certainty.

"Sure!"; "Whatever." And "Ok." were their answers.

"Good..." The man started, spreading a few photos of different people. "Here's what you have to do..."

_To be continued..._

Author's note:

All right folks, this is my 1st attempt at ficwritting, so please be constructive in the reviews (actually, any review is good)!

Thanks for reading "Naruto Sensei and Team 13"!

See y´all around!


	3. Chapter 2  The Punk and the Punked

**Chapter 2 – The Punk and the Punked**

"I can´t believe I agreed to this..." Thought Kojiro, who was currently sitting on the highest branch of a very tall tree. He was transformed into a brown cat using his unique "henshin" technique. This technique was similar to the "henge" one, but it differed on the fact that the boy would actually fully transform into the things he wanted, instead of disguising, allowing him to use the creatures abilities like flying, sneaking or breathing underwater. He could only transform into animals though, like cats, birds and other small creatures, but he was working on turning into bigger ones. It was tough process because there was no one to teach him how to do it, given this was probably a bloodline trait. But he would never now, since he was an orphan and there were no records about his parents.

That Naruto sensei was a complete idiot. Their "test", if it could be called that, was to pull a successful prank on one of the ninjas in the pictures he showed. They had to bring proof by taking pictures and to be successful they couldn´t be caught before the deed was done. What kind of adult asks 12 years old kids to do that anyways? But there he was, doing his part on the stupid plan.

The plan was mostly Daisuke´s idea. Kojiro, turned into a cat, would pretend to be a pet that couldn´t climb down the tree he was at. Daisuke would be the cat´s "owner" and would use his puppy eyes techniques (Kojiro and Yuki refused to call it "awesome mind control technique") to ask their target to climb the tree and get him his distressed cat. The point of that was that the branch Kojiro was seated was rigged. Anything heavier than a cat would break it and fall into a hidden pit on the ground, filled with paint, glue and feathers. Yuki would be hidden nearby, taking the pictures. Kojiro just hoped Yuki wouldn´t start giggling while she was hidden, ´cause she did the whole time Daisuke explained the idea.

So there he was, waiting for their victim. And praying the gods it would work.

Anko was just returning from her favorite dango shop, caring a paper bag full of it. She had always been a dango fanatic, and that morning seemed, like any other morning, a good one to eat her so loved sweet. As she walked from the shop towards her house, she saw a young boy, desperately crying about his cat trapped on a tree.

Well, none of my business, the woman thought. Before she could go on her way, the boy called to her.

"Excuse me lady..." Daisuke tried to call her attention, eyes glistering and staring intensely.

Oh damn... now she just couldn't go away. Looking at the boy with her fiercest face, she asked brashly "What do you want brat?"

"Please help Ko-chan..." He said, his voice trembling, while pointing at "Ko-chan". "...He got stuck on the top of that tree and he can't come down!"

"Ko-chan my ass!" Kojiro meowed. Fortunately for him and the plan, most people couldn't understand cat language. "Ko-chan" swore he would get Daisuke back for that.

Somewhere else a feminine snort could be heard.

Anko looked at the boy. Then looked at the cat. Then looked at the boy again. "Did his eyes just get bigger?" The purple head woman thought.

A sadistic grin entered her mouth.

"Sure thing kid!" She said smiling. At that Daisuke smiled, while internally grinning and rubbing his hands.

His internal evil grinning was stopped short when the woman, instead of climbing the tree as expected, threw a kunai at the cat.

"Holy crap, the lady is nuts!" Kojiro, Daisuke and Yuki thought at the same time.

Fortunately, the crazy woman's aim was a bit off, since instead of hitting Kojiro, the kunai hit the branch he was on. Thank god sighted the boy, relieved.

His relief didn't last half a second, since that's what it took him, as well as his peers, to notice the exploding note tagged on the kunai.

"KABOOOM!"

"Meeeeeeeowwwwwwwww!" Cried Kojiro as he bungee jumped without ropes.

"Oh shit! Kojiro!" Screamed Daisuke, while running to catch the teen-turned-cat, completely forgetting about the trap set on the ground.

As Kojiro neared the ground, everything seemed to go on slow motion.

"Meeeeeee...ooooooooo...wwwwwwwww...!" Kept screaming the cat, but now in slow motion.

"Kooooo...jiiiiiiiiiiii...roooooooooo...!" Screamed the boy, jumping as far as his short legs would allow him, his voice a funny low timbre, his arms stretched, trying to catch his falling friend.

Luckily for Kojiro, Daisuke was just right on time.

Daisuke did manage to get the feline in his hands but as soon as he touched the ground, he fell again, this time into the pit Anko was supposed to fall into.

By now Kojiro turned human... or better yet, a multi-colored chicken, with all that feather. As did Daisuke.

"Oho..." Anko said, while looking down at the kids, a smug grin in her face. "You kids are light-years away from pulling this shit on me." As she said that, she extended her arm to her right, shooting an anaconda from it, followed by a squeal and fishing Yuki out of her hiding place and throwing her at the pit to join her teammates.

Anko's previously amused face turned into a scowl.

"Start explaining. Now!"

One shower later...

"Your plans suck." Pointed Kojiro.

"I said sorry already, alright!" Answered the other boy, a frown on his face.

"I'll never get close to snakes again..." whispered the girl, trembling and hugging herself.

"Yeah, that bitch was scary..." Koijro added his opinion, the other kids nodding in agreement.

After each of them took a shower, they decided to find an empty training ground to plan for their next prank. As they walked, side by side, heads hanging low from defeat and a purple ring on each of the Genins left eyes, they tried thinking of different ideas on different degrees of success.

By now they were away from downtown, moving towards training ground 40, a platoon located near the Hokage monuments.

"Hey guys..." Yuki said, pointing at a lone man, apparently sleeping under the shade of a wide tree. "...Doesn't that man look like one of our targets?"

Indeed he looked like one Nara Shikamaru who, until a few minutes ago, was taking a work break by watching clouds before sleep got a hold on him. Naruto appoint him as one of the targets, to teach that lazy ass a lesson. Or something like that.

"Yeah, I think so..." Kojiro said, while Daisuke got closer to examine.

Daisuke grinned. "Guys, look at what I just brought from home!" He said, while taking a black marker from his pouch.

"Heh, nice one Shorty!" Kojiro replied, getting flipped by Daisuke for the "Shorty" comment.

Just a moment before Daisuke could start drawing, he said in a hushed voice: "Sorry Shikamaru nii-san..." He snorted; "...But it's for a good cause."

"You know him?" Kojiro asked.

"Yeah, he's my sister's teammate."

"Oh, he's teammates with uncle Chouji too!" Added the girl.

The trio couldn't believe their luck. Their target was completely defenseless. So the tree of them took turns drawing anything they could think of on his face, as they giggled silly and took pictures for proof. Soon they ran out of space to draw on the face and they turned to draw on any part of his body that wasn't covered by cloth.

Soon enough, mission was accomplished.

Now that the test was finished and they had the time, they decided to stop at some tea house to commemorate their victory. As they turned to leave...

"Kagemane no justu... success."

... they found they couldn't move at all. The only thing moving on them was the sweat running freely on their brows.

"... Can't even take a nap in peace... Grumble... Troublesome kids...Grumble... Troublesome blonds and their little foolish brothers..." Shikamaru started complaining, as he used his shadow technique to recover the marker from daisuke's hand and started drawing on their faces.

Another shower later...

"Ok, this test officially suck ass..." Daisuke finally said. Kojiro just grunted, while Yuki just sighed.

"I can't believe that guy took the film from the camera! That was totally unfair! We didn't even get caught while doing it!" The girl complained, throwing her fist in front of her, as if trying to hit an invisible Shikamaru.

Daisuke added his two cents: "I can't believe he actually took pictures of ourselves while drawing on us! If he shows the pictures to my sister she's gonna make fun of me forever!"

The kids went silent for a moment.

"What do we do now?" Yuki questioned the group.

"Hell if I know..." The cat boy answered. "...Might as well investigate the targets properly. Get their weaknesses and what else."

"Ok." Daisuke agreed. "So, who's left for us to prank?"

"Hold on, let me get the pictures..." The Akimichi said, while browsing her pouch for the pictures. "Here they are!" She said while spreading the pictures.

"Any ideas on who do we start with?" She asked.

"I was thinking we should separate. There's three targets left. We should follow them for the next hour to investigate, then we meet again and decide what to do."

As the other two agreed to Kojiro, each of them took a different photograph and left to do their part. Usually such a mission, to gather reliable information about a target's weak points, demanded more time, but time was something they didn't really have. Naruto had given the teens a time limit for the test, the limit being until the end of the day. So they had had to do with what was available.

One hour later team 13 met in a tea house to discuss their findings.

"So... How was it?" Kojiro asked.

"It was so so... I couldn't get much. How about you?"

"Didn't get much either... actually, I think he noticed I was following him and I lost his track. Any luck Yuki?"

"Actually..." Said the girl, grinning evilly. "... I got this great idea, listen up...Fufufu!"

Hyuuga Neji had a secret.

Not the kind of secret other people asked him to keep. Neither it was about a flaw in his gentle fist or his other ninja techniques. It wasn't a clan secret either, sure, there were clan secrets, but that was not Neji's greatest secret.

Oh no, Neji's secret was something much more unique, much more valuable. So valuable most females would kill just to have a glance at it.

The secret to Neji's worldwide known beautiful, flowing, silky, shiny hair.

If people ever found out, specially ninja, he would be, forever and ever, completely humiliated.

The secret was...

He went to a beauty salon.

Called "The Fancy Ninja".

Every two weeks. To get his hair and nails done.

Now, that wasn't so bad, to take care of your body or to want to look pretty once in a while. If you're a girl. Or at least that's what Neji thought, and since he was most definitely a manly man, he shouldn't care much about his looks. Besides, if he wanted to have his hair treated without the embarrassment, he could simply ask the Hyuuga's compound hairdresser to do it. Much simpler and discreet.

But like one grey hair ninja would say, let's see underneath the underneath.

The first time Neji went there was in the insistence of his cousin Hinata, after he returned from a mission. He had fought some fire technique specialist ninja, and most of his hair had been singed by flames and Hinata insisted she know just the right place to help salvage what was left of his once long hair.

Usually Hinata would be meek and quiet, but she insisted so much that he just couldn't say no anymore and followed her there. If you ask him though, he will say it was just guard duty, as he so many times did with the Hyuuga Heiress.

What he really didn't expect to find in that place though was the prettiest girl he had ever seen in his life. Neji had always been a pragmatic and down to earth kind of man, but he couldn´t help himself and fall in love at first sight with the young hairdresser girl, called Mei Ling, appointed to fix his hair. Despite his composed macho posture, he just couldn't find the courage to declare to the girl, so he decided to come to the salon as often as he could, to see the object of his affection. And so the years passed. He only hoped some day he would have the guts to ask Mei Ling out.

But none of that matter today, for today is the day to see his loved one.

Unfortunately for him, Yuki frequents that same saloon and she had seen him there before. And she just remembered that. And Hyuuga Neji was on the hit list.

Neji didn't know but whenever he went to the saloon, as soon as he left, he would turn into all the other ladies main gossip, so it wasn't hard for Yuki to find out he would be coming today. And so team 13 devised a most devious plan.

Neji was in front of the saloon now, taking a deep breath to calm his nerves. It was amazing, he thought, that such a defenseless civilian girl could turn him, a strong and proud ninja, into pudding. If he still believed in immutable fate, he would say they were fated to be together.

He was extremely disappointed to find that Mei Ling hadn't come today. Apparently she was sick and had to take the day off. In her place stood a light purple hair woman, Yuki, she called herself, and since he went all the way to get his hair, he sat on the chair to get it done. It wouldn't do to simply leave and make a fool of himself. Appearances had to be kept after all.

What Neji didn't know was the fact that Mi Ling wasn't sick at all, much less absent. She was currently resting in the janitor's room. Resting as in unconscious. She was also gagged and bound by ninja wire; together with other co-workers.

Right now the only people working on the saloon were Naruto's students, disguised as hair dressers.

The plan was quite simple. As she treated Neji's hair, Yuki would add a few extra chemicals, which would turn the Jonin's hair a neon shade of pink. Very bright neon pink. This time the kids had learned, and they hid the camera so the film wouldn't be lost in case something did go wrong.

Yuki played her part as a hair dresser pretty well. It was one of her favorite games to play with her friends and dolls when she was younger so she had some sort of practice on that job. Also she was quite the blabbermouth, speaking nonstop about useless things, while she washed and massaged Neji's hair.

Meanwhile, Mei Ling was starting to wake up... "What's going on?" was the first thing she thought. As she slowly woke, the memories returned one by one.

She remember three kids talking something about playing a prank on one of her customers... "Neji! Oh my God! They gonna ruin his beautiful hair" Was what she wanted to say, but the only sound coming of her was: "Hmmmm! Hmph! Hmmmmrumph!" She had to think fast! She may not be a ninja but if she could find a scissor...

"What's taking her so long to apply the hair dye?" Mused Kojiro. The girl had been tending the Hyuuga's hair for almost a hour now! Did she forget about the mission? It seemed so as she kept making small talk. He was sweating bullets by now, since many things could go wrong. He glanced slightly at Daisuke, who seemed to be thinking the same, and nodded, before going towards the tall girl. At that Kojiro headed to another room

"Yuki, the boss is calling, he said he wanted to talk. Let me help while you talk to him." Daisuke, disguised as an older feminine men, told her.

"The boss?" Naively asked the girl. She was so into washing Neji's hair she completely forgot about everything else.

"Yes. The. Boss." The boy said, putting some venom on his voice. They had agreed beforehand that "the boss" would be a key word for group meeting while on this mission.

"Oh... yeah, sure, hehe!" Meekly answered the girl, while heading to the saloons office.

Once there...

"Yuki you dumbass! What the hell are you doing!" Hissed Kojiro, trying not to be loud about it.

"Ops...?" She tried to explain... somehow. "It's just that, I don't know... His hair is so beautiful! Do we really have to do it? I don't think he deserves that and it's a royal pain in the ass taking care of such long, nice hair..." She reasoned meekly.

"Hey, I don't care if it's the Damyo son's hair you´re dyeing or not, I just don't care, now go back and do your job! Some ninja you are!"

"... Sorry..." The girl murmured. She seemed miserable and about to cry. Kojiro felt guilty.

"Look, I'm sorry I got mad at you... but I'm going to be frank. Yuki, we are Shinobi. There'll be missions on which we will have to do things we don't like, but we have to do it anyways. You know that." She nodded slowly as he preached. "I know it's hard for you, but Daisuke and me are counting on you, you know? Can I trust you?"

"Y-yeah..." The girl answered, whipping away some tears.

"Ok then, c'mon, let's go back. We're counting on you." Kojiro hoped she could do it. Why were girls such cry-babies? Geez...

Now that she recomposed, both returned, Kojiro discreetly giving Daisuke the thumbs up while Yuki assumed her place as hair dresser.

"I won't fail this time!" The girl told herself in her head. She reached for the dye with her left hand.

As she was about to squeeze the chemical bottle the door busted open, a livid looking Mei Ling jumping out of the room shouting "Neji-sama! Look out! They want to dye your... Whoaaaa!"

In her rush to help the long haired man, she forgot to untie her feet, which caused her to trip. However she never got to the ground as Neji, showing his incredible ninja reflexes, caught the girl in bridal style.

"Oh fuck!" Kojiro blurted.

The Genin were terrified. Hyuuga's were known as impassive and unforgiving. Who knows what would happen to them now. Yuki closed her eyes, waiting for punishment. Daisuke started spouting nonsensical apologies. Kojiro prepared to fight. If he was going down, at least he would fight back.

The kids needn't worry though. Much like his cousin in the presence of Naruto; Neji was furiously blushing. And he wasn't the only one, as Mei Ling too was sporting a blush, not as noticeable as Neji, but blushing still.

As pain never came, Yuki opened her eyes and Daisuke shut his mouth.

Suddenly, words Neji never thought he had the courage to say started spurting out of his mouth: "M-Mei Ling, I know this is s-sudden, but I must say..." He couldn't control his tongue. The girls eyes widened, more and more for each word spoken by the man holding her. "... I've been in love with you since I ever laid my eyes upon your beauty."

"Oh my god, he's declaring to her! This is so romantic!" Yuki said, a dreaming look on her eyes.

"What the hell?" Both Daisuke and Kojiro exclaimed. They couldn't believe what was passing before their eyes. What a weird situation... Daisuke realized that if they were to escape with their hides intact, then they should move right away.

"...Will you marry me?"

"Yes, oh yes! I'll be yours forever!" Mei Ling answered and started kissing the man as if there was no tomorrow.

As the romantic scene started shifting into something out of Icha Icha's series, team 13 tip-toed out of there, glad that there had been no backlash despite their failure.

A few months later, Neji and Mei Ling got married in a very beautiful ceremony. Their marriage was a happy one until they died of old age and they had many, many little Hyuuga's sporting fancy hair styles and they lived happy ever after. Sigh...

A few minutes later and a couple blocks away, Daisuke said: "That was... weird." Kojiro nodded in agreement.

Yuki sighed though. "That was so romantic... I wish someone would declare like that to me one day."

The boys said nothing to that.

"So..." Daisuke said, getting back to business. "...Do we go after the scarred man or the other one?"

Kojiro retorted: "If I'm not wrong this Ibiki lives nearby. Since time is short we should go after him".

The others simply agreed.

Morino Ibiki was widely known as a very paranoid man. No wonder there, given all the crap he's been through in the name of patriotism. Paranoia had served the man well; if not for that he would have probably been killed a long time ago. Knowing it so well also helps him on his job, as head of the interrogation squad, to play with his victims fears through psychological warfare. Another advantage it brought was sharp senses and instinct.

And those instincts were trying to convey him a message.

Earlier that day he felt something similar, though there were fewer presences. It wasn't really threatening, as it lacked killing intent and that was the only reason he didn't act on it yet. His patience was growing short though. That said, he decided play some tricks on his stalkers.

It was no easy task to shadow that man as the teens found out. He was constantly on the move, he went to densely populated areas and then suddenly entered empty streets and dark alleys. It was like a wild goose chase, except the goose was more of a wild boar or wolf. With scars and scary eyes.

"Halt!" Kojiro hissed, his teammates abiding his words.

"What is it?" Daisuke asked in hushed tones.

"Can't you feel it? The killing intent..."

"Now that you mention it, yeah, I do..." The teal eyes boy said.

"Guys..." Yuki said, her voice trembling; "... Does killing intent feel like a cold hand grabbing your shoulder?"

Koijro wouldn't really say it felt like that, the feeling was more like an overwhelming feeling of dread. As Daisuke was thinking on the same line as his partners, they turned on the direction of the man they were following, in order to keep stalking.

Only to find the target gone.

"Guys..." Yuki said again, previously trembling voice turning into terrorized voice: "... Is killing intent supposed to hurt, 'cause my shoulder sure is hurting!"

"What are you talki..." As Kojiro and Daisuke turned to look at her, while Yuki looked over her shoulder, they saw the meanest, scariest and most evil pair of eyes they've ever seen; which resulted in only one thing:

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Was the trio's reaction.

They didn't really see who was the owner of the eyes, since the person was shrouded in darkness, but it sure seemed like a demon made of shadows. And so they ran, as if their lives depended on it, fearful tears escaping their eyes.

Ibiki Morino was known as a sadistic man. That wasn't necessarily true, but appearances had to be kept, given his occupation. Fame as a sadistic bastard tended to be a critical factor when dealing with prisoners and their secrets, and the more feared he was, the easier his job got.

Lately his job had become... somehow boring. The lack of war meant the lack of prisoners. Sure, every now and then he would torture a bandit or two, but he spent most of his working time doing nothing at all. That had been going on for a few years now, since the war against Madara and things were so slow that he even started getting worried about losing his mojo.

A strange feeling invaded his self as he watched those three Genin running for their lives, courtesy of a minor genjustsu of his and his damn ugly face.

A small, satisfied grin escaped out of his impassive face.

"Heh, I still got it." Mused the man out loud.

He wondered if he was too old to train a Genin team...

Safely hidden away, Naruto was laughing his ass off. He was presently accompanied by his former sensei, one Hatake Kakashi, who watched everything with an amused "eye" smile.

"It really is fun to mess with them." The older sensei stated.

Naruto couldn't agree more. "Hell yeah it is! Now I can say I understand you better Kakashi sensei!"

As Naruto had been debriefed a few days ago on the Jonin meeting about the Genin, he decided to go to Kakashi for advice on how to test them. Initially Naruto thought about repeating the bell test, but thought better of it. If he was going to teach those brats, then it would be on his unorthodox and unpredictable terms. He even had an idea formed, something like playing pranks. But what would he test? According to Tsunade baa-chan it wasn't really required that the Genin be tested, that was for the teacher to decide. Naruto didn't have to think too much about doing it or not though.

Because of course he would do it.

Later at night, at the Uzumaki's, Naruto, his wife, and Kakashi brainstormed over a few bottles of sake and snacks. Mrs. Uzumaki refused to cook ramen again, much to Naruto's chagrin, since they had ramen for dinner the night before.

That's how they came up with the idea of pranking those specific targets. Both Naruto and Kakashi knew they would most probably fail but the main idea of the test, discussed that night, kept the same as the bell test all those years ago. Teamwork.

So far the kids were doing ok in Naruto's opinion. But there was still one target left, and this target would be the one to really make a difference. Naruto would decide the fate of the Genin wanna be on the last target.

Now getting into "professional ninja" mode, the young sage nodded at the masked man, the later nodding back and disappearing from his side in a swirl of leaves.

After almost having a collective heart attack at the tender age of twelve, the kids decided to have some tea in order to calm their nerves. Stalking Ibiki had not been a pleasant experience, and they ended up feeling completely humiliated.

By the time they finished catching their second wind it was already 3:30 pm, which gave them about two hours and a half to the deadline and they had no idea about what to do with one Hatake Kakashi, their last target.

"Any ideas?" One Akimichi Yuki asked.

"Nope." Kojiro simply retorted.

"We should start asking around other people about this Kakashi. I think our main problem was that we don't know jack about the targets and also we didn't prepare enough. And this time we should prepare traps within traps, like real ninja do and like we learned at the academy." The shortest boy said.

Kojiro grunted and said "And how do you plan on getting this information, smartass?"

"Look, I got my sources alright? Just follow me." The other teammates raised an eyebrow, doubting Daisuke´s source, but since they didn´t have a better option they follow him anyway.

"So, where are we going?" Yuki asked.

"We´re going to the ninja Hospital. Sakura nee-chan must know something about the target."

Kakashi was taking a stroll around the village. He had no missions today and he already spent his daily three hours moping around the memorial stone. He would rather go home to read his infamous orange book in peace, but he owned Naruto a favor or two, so he decided to play along with the blonde's plan.

"What was taking them so long?" wondered the man. "It´s past four in the afternoon already… did they give up?"

"Target on sight" A feminine voice said over a radio head phone. "Copy that." Two other voices, now male, responded.

"Throw the bait Yuki." Daisuke said over the communicating device.

"Roger that."

As Kakashi walked he noticed a strange object on the ground. Moving closer to inspect it, he realized the object was a copy of his beloved Icha Icha. "So simple minded." He thought. Might as well humor them.

"Ma ma, I can´t believe I found such a treasure lying on the streets!" He said out loud, to no one specifically.

As soon as he took a step closer to it the trap sprang. Disguised rope tied against them man´s ankle pulling him up to the top of a lamp post. That didn't work tough, because instead of a man tied to the feet, a piece of log was found.

Kakashi appeared a few feet away only to jump again as he felt the ground giving itself away in a pit filled with paint. He jumped towards the wall, deciding it was safer then the ground. He glued himself on a building only to realize the wall started to peel off. So they used fake paper wall, huh? That was clever.

Before he could fall, he took off again, this time landing on the same lamp post he was supposed to be trapped on.

"Summon technique!"

In a cloud of smoke Pakkun appeared on Kakashi´s shoulder. "What´s up Kakashi?" The small dog asked.

"I need you to get me that book" His master said, pointing the book.

"You called me for that?" The dog asked in disbelief. Kakashi only nodded. "You´ll own me a big juicy bone for that" The mutt said, as he jumped off Kakashi.

Right after the dog bit the book to take it to grey hair man, there was a soundless white dust explosion.

"Make them two bones Kakashi!" The, now covered in flour, dog said, sounding quite pissed.

Pakkun unsummoned himself shortly after giving Kakashi the book. Now smiling Kakashi open the book to savor his victory.

He was shocked by the book´s content.

Literally.

By opening the book, he activated a device meant to shock the person opening it. It wasn´t strong enough to seriously hurt someone, but enough scare and surprise the hell out of the tricked unfortunate soul to fall to such trap. And Kakashi was sitting on top of a lamp post while he opened the book.

One of the side effects of being shocked is the loss of motor control skills.

Which means he fell to the ground while hearing thunderous laughing.

"It worked! Woooo! I´m the man, I´m the best!" Daisuke cheered, as did the others, as they also laughed.

"We did it!" Shouted Yuki, as she high fived her colleagues.

"And the picture looks great! Can´t wait to reveal them!" Kojiro said, handing the camera to Daisuke, since it belonged to him.

Their moment of euphoria was soon cut short. Before any of them could react Kakashi was right between. He kicked Daisuke and Yuki out of his way and immobilized Kojiro, pointing a Kunai to his throat.

"Ok kids, this has been fun and all but unless you want me to turn this guy to Anbu for treason by attacking a senior officer, you´d better give me that camera." Kakashi said, completely serious.

"Let me go you weirdo!" Kojiro said, trying to move.

"Let him go!" Yuki said at the same time Daisuke said "Wait!"

"If I give you this you´ll let us go?" Daisuke asked as Kakashi nodded

While struggling Kojiro yelled "Hell no! You gotta bring that to sensei!"

"You do that and your friend here won´t ever see the light of day again. Trust me on this, you don´t want to be caught by Anbu." Kakashi calmly said.

"Hey, I don´t care about going to jail if at least you guys can make it!" He really didn´t want to be used as a hostage.

Daisuke considered Kojiro´s words. Then he looked at Yuki´s eyes. He really didn't want to go back to the academy. Not after all the pain and humiliation they suffered.

"Ok. Take the freaking camera." He said, throwing it to the older man.

Kakashi rapidly disappeared into a smoke cloud soon after recovering the camera.

Kojiro´s eyes stung, as he tried to hold back the tears. "Sorry guys, this time I messed up…"

Daisuke and Yuki tried cheering him up, but it didn´t work as they also needed cheering.

With nothing left to do, they headed back to the academy, to tell their sensei their failure and hear his last words.

The walk to the academy was a long, tortuous one. They sighed all the way there, felling angry and sad about the whole situation.

Later at the academy…

"… And you pass! Congratulations!" Naruto said, much to the trio´s disbelief.

Upon meeting with sensei the kids' didn´t try to beat around the bush and told the man they had failed. Naruto asked them to better explain and they talked. They really didn´t expect sensei´s reaction above, and it showed on their torrent of questions.

"What do you mean we pass?" Said Daisuke in total disbelief. "We failed with every target!"

"Are you for real?" Kojiro said at the same time as his friend, not trusting the older man´s words. "What´s the catch?"

"Yatta! Yatta! You´re the best sensei!" Yuki said, jumping in contentment and throwing punches in the air, not caring about anything else at all.

Naruto motioned his hands, signing them to calm down "Now, now, calm down kids, I´ll explain my decision, just hush now."

"Look, what´s the most important thing to a ninja?" He asked the trio.

"Strenght?" Yuki tried.

"Smarts" Daisuke added.

"Not showing emotion?" Kojiro said at last.

"Hm… These are all supposed to be important." Naruto mused. "But not the most important. What do you think makes Konoha´s ninja one of the bests throughout the elemental countries?"

The kids had no answer to that.

"It´s our sense of unity and comradeship. Right Kakashi sensei?" As Naruto said that, Kakashi came out of the shadows, throwing Daisuke his camera back.

"Yo!" The masked man said, saying hello doing his typical hand sign, eye closed in a smile.

"The first lesson Kakashi sensei ever taught me and that I´m teaching you is this one, so pay attention. Those that abandon the mission are trash…"

The kids cringed ate hearing that.

"…But those that abandon their comrades are worse than trash. And you never abandoned each other despite all the trouble. I´m proud of you." The blond adult said, now showing a huge smile, mimicked by his students. "I expect to meet you tomorrow at seven sharp at training ground 13. Dismissed."

_To be continued…_

**Author's note:**

Hello Folks!

This makes now my second installment of Naruto Sensei and Team 13 and I must say I was surprised that I already got reviews, and further surprised that many people added this story to their favorites and story alerts! I´m so happy!

I´d like to comment on one thing: You guys probably realized by now that this fic will focus mainly on humor and some crackness will make itself present (like Neji, for instance). It won´t be a total crack story, but I warn you, OOC will most probably occur. It´s been 8 years! People change you know.

Now, to answer some of the reviews:

Konoha´s Black Dragon: I know it´s stupid, but Naruto is showing off ;P, besides that´s him being unpredictable!

Daniel_29: I know, I did that on purpose. On each chapter I´ll keep throwing some hints on who is not Naruto´s wife. Later on I´ll make a pool on who the readers think is Naruto´s wife!

Phnxfyr1 and Demonshadows: Thank you very much for the reviews!

Thanks for reading "Naruto Sensei and Team 13"!

See y´all around!


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